Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Wrap-Up, So Far.

We blog hard, but damn, it's hard to keep up with all this shit. So here's the round up:

1. Danielynn's dad is a named Birkhead. I dunno if that's a good thing, but it sure beats having that guy Howard K. Stern as a dad because let's face it: he looks fucking creepy, like the kind of guy who is SO obsessed over Anna Nicole and then gets delusional and acts out a V.C. Andrews storyline (ie, where there is at least 3 of the following family traumas: long lost half-siblings, incest, and a swarthy dark handsome hunk of a man who beds the protagonist and then impregnates her and disappears. Not that I ever read that smut. EVER.)

2. Marc Jacobs is freshly out of rehab, and his new BFF is...Naomi Campbell. Obviously, rehab is not only a place to shun your vices, it's also a place to shun your common sense. Nothing like drug and alcohol abuse to go hand in hand with chucking cell phones at employees. MJ sales employees, watch your heads.

3. Britney Spears has a new boyfriend. It's the guy who recorded that very syrupy song "Collide" that is featured in every single Mandy Moore movie. And guess where she collided with him? In the hallway. In rehab!

4. Dean and Tori's show Inn Love? Totally fucking awesome. Shut up, it is. Nothing made me laugh harder than when Tori was getting a sonogram and announced in horror, "Honey! Our baby looks like SATAN!" Yes, Tori. Yes, he does.

5. We are indeed One Nation under Sanjaya. If we aren't careful, this kid will be the next generation's Keanu Reeves.

6. Kelly Wearstler, the judge on Top Design who won the Björk award for Fugliest Weekly Wardrobe Ever Shown on Television, is indeed an amazing interior decorator. But did you know that she was also a Playboy playmate in 1994? So the morale of this post, ladies and gentlemen: If you are thinking about taking your clothes off to pay the rent, do it because in about thirteen years, you too could be owning your own high end interior decorating firm in fancy West Hollywood and then go on cable television to crush the dreams of fledgling decorators with Jonathan Adler (whom I adore. With all my heart. I'd like his entire needlepoint pillow collection. I'd also like his house in the Hamptons, his apt in New York, and his Barneys New York credit card).

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