Saturday, April 14, 2007

Me & You. And Every Indie I Haven't Seen.

Crash and I don't watch the same movies. You should know this. If you were to ask him what his top five movies are, one of the following films may make his esteemed list: "Art School Confidential","For Your Consideration","Volver","Thank You For Smoking" and perhaps something by Peter Greenaway or Nick Cassevetes (excluding of course Alpha Dog and that wretched fucking music video for Justin Timberlake which is so over the top that it made Scarlett Johansen look like a no-talent hack. Which is not the case. If you don't believe me, watch Matchpoint. She's fucking rockin SHIT in that movie.)

If you were to ask me what's on my top five movie list, they may be: "Old School", "40 Year Old Virgin","Sneakers" (Robert Redford? River Phoenix? COME ON!), "Soapdish" among others. So you can understand why Crash has taken a firmer hand in educating my movie experience and encouraging me to support the underdogs, the lesser Hollywood class: the indies.

I have nothing against indie films. Except when I watch them, I get bored (Waking Life. I hated it. So what. Judge me. I don't care. I. HATED. IT. I also hate rotoscoping. I think I would have been more inclined to see A Scanner Darkly if it had super cool 3d effects. Hell, I would have seen that movie if it was an animated Disney flick. I also hate those fucking Charles Schwab commercials too! So there). I get depressed because indies are typically showing people who are depressed and/or shooting heroine. Or I just feel hosed for spending $10 to see a movie that is showing me nothing that I wouldn't normally see at midnight on Santa Monica Blvd.

So anyway. The other night, I caught a showing of Miranda July's "Me and You and Everyone We Know." Written, directed, and featured herself in the title role, her film was poignant enough, and had enough humor to carry off some CRAZY ASS SHIT which included some of the following scenarios (don't read if you haven't seen it, and plan on seeing it):
1. Those 2 teenage girls who have a contest to see who gives a better blow job. Their conversation leading up to them doing this was so outrageous--and yet? I totally remember 2 slutty girls in my art class having that same conversation when we were in 8th grade.
2. Lighting your hand on fire to impress your kids after your wife leaves. Wow. And yet? My friend Paul told me that he spent a night in the hospital getting beans pulled out of his nose because he was trying to impress his 3 yr old daughter.
3. Online cybersexing? No need for examples. You know who you are. And for the record, I'm glad that both of you happen to be of legal age.

I think that's enough for now. I could go on, but then this post would be about 8 pages too long and no one would ever read this again. My point is that Miranda July's film was actually pretty fucking awesome, and I'm quite pleased that I've stumbled upon her work thanks to my good buddy Crash. If you haven't seen the movie, you really ought to. And if you haven't seen her website for her new book of short stories, you really ought to go RIGHT NOW.

PS. One movie that makes both Crash and my top five movies of all TIME EVER is "Mean Girls." Not joking. The last time we watched that movie, Crash exclaimed, "OMG! I thought the Toaster Strudel girl was BLACK!"

PPS. Crash, stop trying to pretend that you got that copy of "Under the Tuscan Sun" in a gift basket. It's OK. I totally watched that movie on ABC Family on a Sunday. And it was shitty decent. And what's more embarassing? Owning a copy of that movie, or admitting to watching ABC Family?


Blogger Crashlander said...

movies movies movies. what a great movie and topic to write about. that was a great movie u done did pick. and volver come on how can you not respect a director for shooting a scene with penelope cruz on the toilet.

April 17, 2007 at 9:05 PM  

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