Full Name: Ginger Bender

So, my friend Steve told me awhile ago that he's spent exactly one year in the US (he's originally from London). As a young British bloke, Steve was--and still is--extremely outgoing and optimistic which made him sign up to be a foreign exchange student which he thought would be utterly glamorous and fabulous. He also told me that he had visions of being Luke Perry and scoring himself a buxom Beverly Hills blonde.

Unfortunately, the program he signed up for sent him to...Montgomery, Alabama. Awesome. His fondest memories of Alabama include trolling around the strip malls trying to score booze, and rallying his American peers to play rugby and failing miserably. He did, however, attend the prom and wore an all-white tuxedo and took a red-headed girl as his date.

And yes, her name is Ginger Bender. (Or as he would say: Ging-ah Bend-ah).

PS I went to Whole Foods and bought 2 scoops of chocolate-covered almonds. And I ate all of them. In one sitting. While watching the Olympics. I dunno about you, but staring at all these super svelte, super buff athletes just makes me feel less inspired to work out and just give up and eat fatty snacks on my ass.