Olympic Observations

1. I can't watch gymnastics--men or women. Mainly because I get real panicky that someone's going to eat shit and break their back and become paralyzed. Watching this "16-year-old" do her uneven bar exercise gave me the heebie-jeebies...mainly because she did some crazy Exorcist move where she caught herself with her arms twisted backwards. Or something like that.
2. Ditto for Trampoline. I caught a late night segment and started yelling, "DON'T BREAK YOUR NECK!" at the TV.
3. Track stars have the best accessories. Big diamond earrings, chunky gold necklaces, pinky rings....
4. Misty May-Treanor seems like she would be more fun to get beers with than Kerri Walsh. Every time they win a game, Walsh jumps up and down and squeals in a high octave, and May-Treanor just gives her a high-five.
5. Dara Torres is infuckingsane. She and Helen Mirren just made post-40 look a little brighter.
6. Ummm...what is Joan Allen doing in a movie called Deathrace? And why does the preview run during primetime Olympics coverage? But really: what is Joan Allen doing in a movie called Deathrace?!
7. Mary Carillo is the best segment host ever ("If you're a kite lover--and who isn't?")--the only thing better than her is Bob Costas hamming it up with Bela Karolyi.
8. I wonder if NBC's post-production team worked overtime to paint a smog-free Beijing backdrop behind Bob?
9. Why do divers shave themselves?
10. After watching an interview with Ryan Lochte, it's hard to imagine someone so laidback ("Me and Phelps...we just talk about chicks...") being so crazy competitive. I just picture him pulling a McConaughey and smoking a bongload and playing the drums naked in his hotel room.
11. Do the male gymnasts suffer from armpit burn on the even bars?