Wednesday, June 13, 2007

How to Rekindle an Acquaintance.

If you ever feel the need to, I dunno, get in contact with an ex from eons ago, and it ended badly, and you're not sure what to write, here's a tip--don't write this (or anything similar to this):

Hey [steenks],
How goes?
Have you had any news of [name of friend you have not spoken to in 10 years]? There was a weird bout last year, we were talking on the phone and she got upset with me for criticizing US politics (?) and I've never really heard back from her. Did she go wierd or something? I miss her. If you ever get around to talking with her, let her know... life's good. and if she ever wants to say hey, she knows where to reach me.
Hope all's good with you. Where you calling home these days?

[name of ex that will never be named.]

There are a myriad of things wrong about this email (and not just misspelling the word "weird"). But here's a general rule: when shit goes belly up, and in a bad Titanic kinda way in relationships, you make a deal that implies "Let's just ignore that any of this happened and we will never contact each other and in retrospect, I will hide myself in a closet and drink booze alone while reflecting upon our time together even 10 years later." AND if you plan on breaking that rule, you better bring your A-Game. And sending an email that is about another person, political strife, and what sounds like bitterness towards another is not your A-Game, but more like hard evidence of a lobotomy that happened during the past 10 years of mutual silence.

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