He Can't Act But...

Keanu Reeves, you may say the weirdest fucking shit ("What would happen if you melted? You know, you never really hear this talked about much, but spontaneous combustion? It exists!...[people] burn from within...sometimes they'll be in a wooden chair and the chair won't burn, but there'll be nothing left of the person. Except sometimes his teeth. Or the heart. No one speaks about this, but its for real."), but at least you are terribly honest about yourself ("I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.") And for that, you will forever hold a place in my little tar-covered heart.

PS I am so watching the Lake House on and it's 1 am. AND THIS MOVIE BLOWS. But at least your hair looks fetching, but you are looking a wee bit bloated. But if I had to be in this movie, I would be drinkin like a fish too. Especially if I had to deliver lines like, "Let me let you go!" a