I Can't Hate When It Pays The Mortgage...

Say what you will about the state of pop music--like it's crap, no one is making money, and if kissing a girl will top the charts, then the world is falling to pieces--but i really, really can't hate on it even if I wanted to. Why? Because it pays the bills, my friends. It does. So here's to you, Justin Timberlake and Hilary Duff and Hannah Montana and the entire cast of High School Musical and the Jonas Brothers and Britney Spears and Ne-Yo and Usher and American Idol: Thank you, from the deepest pit of my stomach to my carpal tunnel hands. Every time I curse you for making me pull all-nighters so you can have your dumb widget or players or websites, I'm really truly grateful. Especially when I go to the grocery store to buy food, or when I send in my monthly bills, or when I have to book a trip across the U.S. to witness my friend getting married. Cheers (now hurry up and make another record, so I can make more shit for you).

P.S. JT, if you win the Emmy for the Future Sex Love Show and you don't thank me, I will be pissed. I still have a piece of mirror lodged in my palm from smashing a stupid disco ball.