Saturday, September 6, 2008

Catchphrases I Learned From Watching 20 Hrs of Alias


During the summer TV sabbatical, I decided to rot my brain with the entire...series...of Alias. Not just season 1 or 2, but the whole hog. And here's some catchphrases I've learned and am trying to incorporate into my daily rhetoric:

Cross-index the files. Apparently, in order to properly analyze illicit information, it must be compared with other illicit information. Daily use: "You may need to cross-index the amount of half-n-half in the fridge before thinking about putting it on the grocery list."
Piggyback the signal. This is in reference to stealing WiFi. Or a connection. Or a satellite dish. I don't know. Daily use: "Nanny, don't you fucking THINK about piggybacking on Herbie's nap, you hear me?!"
Wheels Up. Indicates amount of time left before departure. Daily use: "I believe we must go to Bed Bath and Beyond. Wheels up in 10 minutes."
It's a Rambaldi Artifact. In reference to some moldy Italian dude who hijacked Da Vinci's reputation and sketchbook. Also, inherently evil and prophetic. Daily use: "Shit, my laundry has been piling up for so long that it could be hiding a Rambaldi artifact."
Joe's Pizza. Wrong number...traced back to the CIA! Daily use: Any time and every time a telemarketer calls.

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