A Lloyd Dobbler conversation.

A tip for you ladies out there: You may THINK that the guy that you're friends with (the one that you have been hoping for the past five-odd years or so will develop into a full blown relationship that will include weekly jaunts to the grocery store, Sunday afternoon picnics at Dolores Park, bike rides to the coast and back, watching episodes of Grey's Anatomy without once wondering what would have happened if you had gone to med school instead, and afternoons spent playing new music that he has never heard of and will therefore marvel at your wonderful and discerning musical taste) will one day turn to you and say, "You're amazing. You're wonderful. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because there is no one I'd rather be with."

Well. I'm sorry, but the odds are against you. Because if you haven't closed the deal yet, it's just not going to happen. Give it up and go to the nearest bar and down about 3 vodka tonics and find someone who doesn't know that you were a Girl Scout in middle school or that you blundered during your review with your boss. Don't worry, that dull ache that you will feel when you hear him moan and groan about his latest office crush or botched up blind date will pass, especially when it's aided by a helpful fifth of Jack Daniels.

It's okay to look...in Brooklyn.

I've never lived in New York, and the last time I was there was about fifteen years ago for an audition that Will Never Be Brought Up Again So Don't Ask. I vaguely remember the stench of urine around subway stations. And I think I was still young enough to be scared of homeless people. Anyway. It has recently come to my attention that New York is a terrible place to date, which I find to be weird because well, there's a shitload of people there; and the city is 99.9% pedestrian (unlike LA where it's perfectly normal to drive a block and if you suggest otherwise, you will be shot dagger looks of death); and there's a bar or three on every corner. Also? Most people there are employed because it's ridiculously expensive.

But. I didn't realize the extent of how bad the dating scene is in New York until I received this lovely missive from a frustrated single friend who has been yearning to find the One (which could very well be the root of his problem): "I am not about to go fight some tranny over a girl who has a history of massive depression. Or am I?"

Brooklyn Ladies: Has it come down to picking trannies over lonely male New Yorkers with legit day jobs?