And a White Russian to You...

You know how sometimes someone--maybe everyone?--recommends something to you, and then you think, "Meh, I'll get to it when I get to it"? That's how Into the Wild was for me: it had all the ingredients of everything that I'd like; but well, I was just NOT really in the mood for reality at the time. Thankfully, I have since moved beyond that brief phase and now I am hoovering up non-fiction books and true story film adaptations as if I've just climbed out of a time capsule and am trying to absorb as much reality as humanly possible.

Since the movie and book have both been out for eons, I won't rehash anything that has already been said: it's a great story, it'll make you think, and it will leave you awed. At least, it did for me. And yes, I am contemplating doing an "On the Set" AT feature on it just showing the beautiful Alaskan landscape (the LA mission however, not so much). Unfortunately, I doubt Gregory will let me go that for out on a limb.

After I watched the film, I happened to catch a rerun of that show Iconoclast on the Sundance channel featuring Jon Krakauer (author of the book) and Sean Penn (director and screenwriter of the movie). I know it's kind of cheesy to admit this, but I fucking love that show. Seriously, I find that show to be a inspiring and heartbreaking all at once. Inspiring because these people are just so mind-blowingly successful--creatively, emotionally, financially. And heartbreaking because they're so alienated because well, how many people do YOU know who are over the moon with their work and their life? My friend put it best: "It must be nauseating to be around someone so bloody perfect all the time. And rich. How many of these people do you think are lonely?"

Anyway. Back to the Sean Penn and Jon Krakauer. If you haven't seen it and you like this sort of thing, I strongly encourage you to check it out. It's truly a great episodes because it's so genuine. A lot of times, especially shows like Inside the Actor's Studio, you don't really get a glimpse of the kind of passion that drives a person to go to the middle of bumfuck Alaska for the sole purpose of telling a story about a 23-year-old guy who is going on his life's biggest and most tragic adventure. When the credits were scrolling up the screen, I felt a bit of...gratitude towards these two men for broadcasting this story and making it important for anyone who has or will read the book/watch the film.

In short: Read it or watch it, it's worth the time.

Dear 90210...

You know, I was never really into 90210 the first time around (but I do remember hearing about how Luke Perry and Shannen Doherty hated each other so much that during their kissing scene, he ate like a whole head of garlic and she rolled around in cat hair knowing that he was allergic--I'd say she out-bitched him on that one). So when I finally sat down to watch the new 90210, I realized: nothing bad ever happens on this show. No, really. NOTHING BAD. For example: The hot black kid from the Wire who is super cute apparently can't park the minivan, and he knocks out the side mirror of some fancy car that will run him $500. (Which, btw, is totally realistic cuz I knocked out my side mirror in high school and it cost me $400. Back then, Infiniti G20s were like, "luxury." Or something. I dunno, it was used, OK?) In the old 90210 days, this would automatically mean that someone was going to trip down the darker alleys of Beverly Hills, score a substantial amount of coke, and start selling to all of his rich bitch friends, thereby paying him back. NOT GET A FUCKING JOB AT THE PEACH PIT.

And by the way: That main girl would NOT be drinking Dr. Pepper while getting stood up. It would be Diet Coke and you know it, they know it, and she knows it. Hell, she probably was drinking Diet Dr. Diuretic, judging by the circumference of her arm.

This is where I think Gossip Girl excels: I mean, I know it's a fantasy life but at least Gossip Girl is completely unapologetic about it. Gossip Girl on the West Coast is some post-Avril Lavigne actress who is probably 22 and wondering how to channel the spirit of Perez Hilton in her performances. (The sad thing is that she's actually a decent actress, but I didn't recognize her after her 20 lb weight loss). Unfortunately, the only thing bit of meat she's given to chew on is some long-dead feud about posting about her ex-BFF's parents having marital strife. Whut? At least Serena bedded her ex-BFF's boyfriend, AND had the powers to toss her blonde hair back in Blair's good graces. Not even Jennie Garth Brenda Walsh could save this monstrosity...

...But Donna Martin could! Just saying...

Death, Short Form

One of my grandparents died on Friday. Friday morning, to be exact. My mom called me to tell me, very calmly, and I didn't really feel very different. I mean, I'm not very close to any of my grandparents due to our inability to communicate with each other since I don't speak a lick of Mandarin, and they don't speak a lick of English. But. I felt guilty that I didn't feel anguished. I just felt...a little sad. Maybe a wee bit empty. And worried. Worried about how my dad was taking it.

But for me, personally, hearing about my grandparent's death at the age of 98 was like reading about someone famous dying, like Isaac Hayes or Bernie Mac. Or David Foster Wallace.

So tonight, I will pour a 40 oz on the sidewalk for the old girl.

Just Because...

...it's Monday. And it's directed not at you, dear readers, but at the general glum that is the Monday work day.

Dear Lil Wayne...

Your performance sucked.

I want those three minutes and twenty-six seconds that I spent watching you run around "rapping" with your "grill" and "tattooed tears" BACK. And I want it NOW.

Thanks.

PS Pull up your pants. This ain't the 90s, and you are not Marky Mark.
PPS LL Cool J, I am pissed on your behalf that you didn't get a full slot. Same to you Lupe.

Catchphrases I Learned From Watching 20 Hrs of Alias

During the summer TV sabbatical, I decided to rot my brain with the entire...series...of Alias. Not just season 1 or 2, but the whole hog. And here's some catchphrases I've learned and am trying to incorporate into my daily rhetoric:

• Cross-index the files. Apparently, in order to properly analyze illicit information, it must be compared with other illicit information. Daily use: "You may need to cross-index the amount of half-n-half in the fridge before thinking about putting it on the grocery list."
• Piggyback the signal. This is in reference to stealing WiFi. Or a connection. Or a satellite dish. I don't know. Daily use: "Nanny, don't you fucking THINK about piggybacking on Herbie's nap, you hear me?!"
• Wheels Up. Indicates amount of time left before departure. Daily use: "I believe we must go to Bed Bath and Beyond. Wheels up in 10 minutes."
• It's a Rambaldi Artifact. In reference to some moldy Italian dude who hijacked Da Vinci's reputation and sketchbook. Also, inherently evil and prophetic. Daily use: "Shit, my laundry has been piling up for so long that it could be hiding a Rambaldi artifact."
• Joe's Pizza. Wrong number...traced back to the CIA! Daily use: Any time and every time a telemarketer calls.

Books Recs, from the Guy Who Programs iTunes Audiobooks!

When I was up north these past few days, I got a chance to hang out with one of my favorite people, Rob. He basically runs the whole operation of Audiobooks for all of iTunes, and he's kinda sorta awesome. He also has a beautiful wife and three little girls and a sick mountain bike, and if you ever see any of his family portraits, they look like outtakes from a J.Crew catalogue (really). Anyway, every time I chat with Robbo, I always ask him what books I should be reading and this time around, he vehemently recommended Into Thin Air, by Jon Krakauer. Considering what a mellow dude he is, it was pretty weird to hear him say, "Go get this book NOW. I mean it, RIGHT NOW. GO!" So I'm thinking it's nothing short of awesome.

(I dated a guy in college named Ben Krakauer who was--and still is--a banjo player. He dumped me in favor of "getting nasty with the banjo-pickin'." After that, I swore off dating musicians. Sort of.)

Them's Diamonds from Tiffany's, Bitches!

I had to bribe this guy at work to make an iMix entitled "Just Because I'm a Whore Doesn't Mean I Don't Have Feelings." And by bribe, I mean, I had to make him a wallpaper declaring his awesome-ness. Here, I've used diamond-encrusted letters that I usually reserve for only the most deserving hip hop artists and the background from a previous project for Enchanted. Yes, the Disney movie. I think the pairing of the two is just unexpectedly perfect for Andy. Especially since he's the author of this iMix. Click on it if you dare, my friends...

This Could Be My New Mantra...

Happy Labor Day to you, from me. Tomorrow, I wake up at 6 am to catch a flight up north so I can kick it with some Europeans for one day. It's very strange to say this but...I've pretty much worked at home for over a year now, and I deal with co-workers and clients strictly over iChat (not Adium, AIM, or ICQ..wow ICQ...so 90s!). When it actually comes time to meet said co-workers and clients face-to-face, it feels like...like...a blind date. Last year, I met one of my clients who I've been working with for almost a year and half for the first time at Mexican restaurant in Manhattan Beach, and it was the weirdest shit ever. Luckily, we just got drunk off of margaritas big enough to bathe in, so it was all good.

PS To everyone who sent me the link to TwiMoms: you just scared the bejeezus out of me. Like...REALLY. FUCKING. SCARED. I couldn't even look beyond the first page. OK, I lied: i read the story about the golfing to spy on the filming and when I got to the part where the lady didn't realize that golf clubs are mandatory to play golf, I couldn't handle it anymore and...yeah.